Episode 165: "A Working Heart"

Date

May 2, 2014

Guests

Seth Rogen

Discussed

Hi! Our guest this week SETH ROGEN this week, who is famous and funny and extremely kind. We are happy to host him and talk to Seth about his first staff job on ALI G, whether it was weird in retrospect hanging out with Judd Apatow when he was a teenager, what it's like when his friends forget they met his wife, and why "ordinary dudes in crazy situations" is his and Evan Goldberg's bread and butter.

Also, Julie sincerely wishes you a Happy Carvel Free Cone Day (belated), speculates on what Paul Simon & Edie Brickell were fighting about, wonders out loud why she watched a four-hour long documentary about the Nightmare on Elm Street movies, sniffs her nose at Almost Famous, lauds the Devil, shuts down a straight guy's idea of Hell, and imitates Kevin Kline in "I Love You To Death" for 10 seconds. A wonderful show!

Trivia

• Jamie Luner and Daphne from Scooby Doo are inducted into the Redhead Hall of Fame.
• How dare anyone accuse a woman of having daddy issues when Ben Folds is around writing songs and Wes Anderson is making movies?

Download the Episode

Episode Link

Monologue Transcript

Transcription by Amy

Hi everybody. It's Julie Klausner back for another episode of HWYW. Were you afraid I was going to do an ad for AdamandSteve.org at the beginning? Stamp.TV! I LIKE TO KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES! Happy Free Carvel Cone Day. I should get that out of the way first. Well, I blew it last year. I didn't get my cards out in time so I had to include it on a Mother's Day mailing. It was a humiliation.

Free cone days are dumb because you should never wait on line, unless you are going to vote. Don't wait on line for brunch and don't wait for a free ice-cream cone. There reason why people don't eat ice cream cones everyday has nothing to do with how much they cost. How much is a Carvel ice cream cone, a standard--I'll bet it's fifty cents. I'll bet you that a Carvel ice cream cone is less than a MacDonald's ice cream cone which I believe is 99 cents. I had some dumb college roommate who would always tell me MacDonald's ice cream cones are vegan. Yeah, good point Susan, I bet they are good for you. Stick it in your craw Susan. You heard me right.

I don't exist to criticize people who work for Carvel. Carvel is an outstanding company that sells two shapes of ice cream cake. One is shaped like a whale or a Santa depending on what time of year it is. The other is shaped like Cookie Puss and sometimes I think it is shaped like Tom the Turkey. Nobody cared less about anything at all that Carvel as a brand and the man Tom Carvel, who did their ads. If phones had been invented in that time he would have literally been phoning it in, but as it were he should up and say, "Carvel get your Cookie puss. Bye." Then he'd leave. I know I've talked about this on the podcast before. I don't care. Of course on Saint Patrick's Day he'd come back and say, "It's Saint Patrick's Day come and get your Cookie puss. That will be a good idea. Bye." Cookie Puss was from outer space and he had a voice modulator. Then there was Cookie O'Puss, Top o'the morning to you. He was from space Ireland, ha,ha,ha. Oh it's so good to laugh again. The Carvel ads grew up being haunted by are all on YouTube. Because I was born a poor Jewish child, that's a reference to The Jerk, but as soon as it exited my mouth I thought, that 'don't work. Enjoy your window to my process. That should be the name of this podcast. Catchy right?

Growing up a Jewish girl, on field trips with Solomon Schechter whenever we'd pass a Carvel everybody would get excited because Carvel was Kosher. The range of Jewish people on the bus went from extremely Jewish to deafeningly Jewish, so Carvel was Kosher for all. The kids would go, Carvel badah, Ice cream badah which was the jingle at the time. It's the laziest jingle. It's like when someone who is not musical has to make up a song right away. It's tuneless.

Speaking of tunes and the people who make them, I want to talk about Paul Simon and Edie Brickell ending up in court. At first it was report that there was domestic disturbance or drunken disorderly, drunk in public. Then it was… I don't know what the charge was but I think there was a fight. The two of them had a fight and the cops became involved. Then there was a photo. Louis Virtel, bless his heart, had a photo of Paul Simon in court looking very unhappy, and serious. The point is Paul Simon and his then child bride Edie Brickell best known for her work as a Club MTV dancer, originally, which is how they met, got into a fight and the cops were involved. Nothing is funnier.

Maybe Mariah Carey. Mariah Carey had had a big week huh? She released an album with an insane title. Our friend Jake Fogelnest tweeted it to me last night and I was pretty sure he was joking. Do you know what would be the worst thing to do? This is why I am really glad I don't host a late night talk show, I don't need the burden. I'm busy. Second, on top of that, can you imagine having to do a monologue joke or write a joke about Mariah Carey's album called, Me. I am Mariah…the Elusive Chanteuse. To have to go into work and think well we know the set up, Mariah Carey has a new album out it is called Me. I am Mariah…the Elusive Chanteuse. Then this something something her last album and then another crazy name. It will fail. The structure of jokes as we know them in an age in which Mariah Carey makes things is all dinosaur bones, fossils. Set up, punchline. Also I don't like it when jokes are, "That person's crazy!" There aren't the many people who are straight up crazy. Mariah Carey is not crazy. Kanye West is not crazy. Oh, Sonja Morgan is crazy.

Sonja Morgan is having a nervous breakdown on the Real Housewives of New York City. It's a great season. For the rest of the season I believe Ramona Singer is going to throw fluids on that model they hired because Ramona Singer thinks that she is less than human. And Sonja Morgan is losing her mind and she has no more body fat. It is disconcerting. She improvises burlesque which no one should ever…No one is addressing the fact that she is getting on stage and improvising a burlesque act. That is dangerous.

Things that Paul Simon and Edie Brickell could have been fighting about, let’s go, let's just riff. Let's yes and this. Who got to open the bottle of wine that Joni Mitchell gave to them. Whether or not Lorne Michaels knows Edie Brickell's birthday. What day of the week Connecticut picks up its garbage? Whether or not Ira Glass is sexy. Submit your entries- Don’t. Do what you want. Edie Brickell was jealous because Paul Simon was watching Nora Jones videos on YouTube. Paul Simon forgot one of his baseball caps to wear to the Billy Joel show at MSG and Edie Brickell yelled at him because she was in a rush to get out of the house otherwise they were going to miss the first song which was probably going to be New York State of Mind but she wanted to be there when the lights dimmed. Grab any hat, he wouldn't. What else? Anything bird watching related. Do you know what they were not fighting about? The RuPaul's Drag Race Trans Community controversy. Everybody should be fighting about that.

Not fighting, I don't believe in conflict in the LBGT community. Do you know what I am in favor of? Dancing. Dancing and hot tunes. I like that there is never any electric guitar solos on gay pride floats. Very seldom is there a guy in jean shorts shredding. Although maybe this is its year. Maybe it's time to get some of that Creedence in the mix. What do you guys think of that ad for Boy Butter? Did I lose the audience? I have more straight men that listen to this…There's an ad for Boy Butter. There's a new lube that's transparent, there's a guy talking to the camera and then they cut away to Hedda Lettuce, who's a mainstay, bless her heart. She hosts shows at the Chelsea Cinemas on 23rd Street, thank god it's still around.

I went to the Film Forum today, by the way, which is also still around. The Film Forum is the home of some of the best film revivals, the least comfortable seats, and the weirdest people that work there, both in the box office and behind the cafe bar. They will always look at you like you are insane if you ask for anything and they only take cash. I'm not here to badmouth the Film Forum. The Film Forum has provided me with many a classy date when I have wanted to appear that I liked, I don't know Preston Sturges. In the past when I have wanted to seduce a man of a particular, kind, type, or breed, I have gone to the Film Forum. I have adjusted my makeup in that bathroom a few times. I went there earlier and it is just nice that place is still around and is still staffed by people that look like they could be mentally ill or homeless until you see their tattoos. Then you think they are fine just a nightmare to their parents. The people who take your tickets are the nicest people in the world. What is up with that, right?

I saw the guy who made El Topo, Jodorowsky's Dune on the recommendation of Jake. It was a trip down the old rabbit hole of a mind of a guy that was off of the beaten path as an artist and thinker. Salvador Dali was a part of it. It is time to revisit Salvador Dali, not as an artist, as a character. I think he was so funny. I don't think comedians list him as an influence as much as we need to. He was so much funnier than Lenny Bruce or who else? Phil Silvers? I'm not even quite sure who Phil Silvers is. That's a reference that I smile and nod at. You know those conversations where you don't ask who someone is because you are afraid of seeming dumb, you just want to get it over with. I don't want to derail the evening, and I don't really want to know where Preston Sturges was born.

I want to mention that, there's so much I have to get to, mostly about Paul Simon and Edie Brickell, but I saw Almost Famous for the first time. Somehow I had successfully avoided it for the last 13 years. It's not very good. I hate to break it to you but there's a good chance with the exception of Say Anything, Cameron Crowe might be the Bill Lawrence of movies. I resent that it made me look up whether or not Stillwater was a real band. That's like trying to figure out whether slug line was a real blog. Kate Hudson dreamily nodding, do we have any proof that her mom is not Shirley MacLaine? She's got those lizard eyes. Penny Lane, sure they're not groupies they're Band Aids. Billy Crudup, what do we think of him? He's very symmetrical isn't he? Yet he could be as porridge for guts as Johnny Depp and we don't hold him to it because he doesn't wear top hats.

You know who does where top hats is Alice Cooper. I told you about the documentary. I also found a VHS of Welcome to My Nightmare, the concert footage and I watched the shit out of it. The song and dance stuff with the dancing skeletons was super cool but the idea that it was trying to be a twist on song and dance is ridiculous. The idea of taking Broadway and Theater elements and make them metal, that's not very metal. What on earth are they doing? They are doing stuff that Michael Bennett would have said, "Really?" They went back to the source. That shit was vaudevillian. Alice Cooper existed around the same time as Fosse they were just on different frequencies on the same FM dial. You could hear Fosse at least visually; if we are comparing talent I may as well just go flush my head down the toilet. That's not what you do. You don't compare Alice Cooper to Bob Fosse; you compare Bob Fosse to Picasso or Ellen Barkin. That choreography was ch- ch- ch- cheeseball. I loved it. I loved every minute of it.

I am obsessed with Alice Cooper. I loved looking at him. I think he is the coolest looking guy, even now he still looks good, but '70s early '80s Alice Cooper with his bad posture and his penis and unitard and suspenders. It’s like how it looks when you put a big T-shirt on a little girl, his dancing and his white… I think he is so fun to look at and I can't name four of his songs. That's not true, I can name four of his songs and I only think two are good, but those two are very good. What are they? Find out when I tell you. Remember our friend Spoony who became a ghost? He's not dead, he's fine. He's a fathair. He took a very long drive recently and he listened to Love it to Death over and over again in his car which is a great album. Is it?

I like it. Here's the stuff I like about it, Is it my Body and Second Coming. I'm 18 could had been written by one of the ten year olds in School of Rock but I still like it. I like Alice Cooper a lot. Love it to Death should not be confused with I Love You to Death which starred Kevin Kline, Joan Plowright, Tracey Ullman, River Phoenix, and William Hurt. Am I forgetting anybody? Probably. That was a fun movie. When he came out without his pants and says, "Monopoly" I watched too many videos from Blockbuster growing up. Blockbuster video-let's just get I Love You To Death again. That's what you do in the suburbs. You don't live in fear.

This is important; in addition to Almost Famous I watched a four hour documentary about the making of all of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies this weekend. I did get to the end. I made sure I watched it until the end of the credits so I could say that I watched the documentary called Never Sleep Again recommended by Maggie Serota on Twitter, picked up on by Jake Fogelnest and then co-opted by me. Jake and I have been in communication that neither of us have ever seen any of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and have no interest in doing so and yet this documentary, I say documentary generously because it was really a DVD extra, the thing that goes in the thing you buy where they tell you the making of it and don't care about doing it artfully. It was something I couldn't look away from. Here's my take away.

Wes Craven seems cool. Robert England has to be so bad in bed. He's got that hammy actor quality that seems so awful. He seems bad in bed. It covers a tremendous amount of ground from Freddy vs. Jason with wrestling style events and press conferences and Freddy and Jason would shit talk each other. My point is I never, even for a million dollars want to see these horrible movies that I could tolerate clips of. Not just because they are scary but because the character of Freddy is so…it's like growing up with Regan or if you are English Margaret Thatcher, growing up in the '80s with Freddy Krueger arguably the most famous noun for boys was a hostile environment for everyone else that wasn't a little boy who wanted to watch somebody who loved being sadistic achieve his goals. He would crack wise after he had done so and call women bitches, and punish human beings for sleeping. Danielle Henderson whom I love often more than god, Danielle Henderson's grandmother loves Nightmare on Elm Street because she says things like, "Served her right for going to sleep." That's not a morality play.

I read, on the recommendation of Jason Zinoman who wrote a great book called Shock Value that is not the Jon Waters book, I read Men, Woman and Chain Saws, I read some of it or skimmed it, and I believe the premise is that horror movies are more feminist than you think because you are meant to identify with the lead female character. That is not true in the Nightmare on Elm Street Movies. There is no clearer example of people rooting for someone who does not need a back story. The idea that Freddy Krueger was burned by suburban parents for being a child molester, and therefore wants to punish them by killing their children, that's one of the things Wes Craven had in his character bible if this had been a show on TBS. It was a show. I watched the whole fucking thing! I know everything about Nightmare on Elm Street now! Nuance is stupid. The second one was super gay. The third one they got this guy who was either German or from Scandinavia, I can't remember and that one did really well. Then there was number 4--that one did really well. Then they decided to kill them and then they decided to bring him back. Why the fuck am I watching this?

If they had made a documentary about Chester the Cheeto cheetah or Max Headroom would I watch? Probably not. The other thing I resent deeply about the people who had anything to do with these movies is the inclusion, "And you got to see boobs which was pretty cool." Fuck you! Fuck you for assuming everyone in the world is you for a second. The thrill of seeing areola and nipples in the context of being pressed against Freddy's chest because she is a statue trying to break free, really that is still in your brain? Fuck you! Fuck you.

I posit this, I don't think that Nightmare on Elm Street would have been as popular had there been internet porn at the time. Because from the internet porn I have seen, and it's disgusting, there is violence so close to sex on the old clicky clicks that it compartmentalizes instead of generalizes desire. I know there are girls that like these movies too. There was a woman in the documentary who insisted on being interviewed with what looked to be blood on her face and sitting on her feet was her Goth girlfriend. That was never mentioned or referred to. She exists.

What I also didn’t realize is that at least three of the women who were the babes in these movies, female leads, these actresses are such lambs. I want to do a UNICEF commercial to protect actresses more as a society. They would say thing like, “I did not like the part where I had to be strangled by Freddy’s giant tongue.” Yeah, I can see why you didn’t like doing that! Apparently they were all on Just the Ten of Us, or three of them were, which is insane! They were Lubbock babes! The ‘80s were such a ‘Bad guys win’ decade. Freddy Krueger, fuck you! Fuck you for giving beautiful Nate Harris nightmares! Remember that song by Will Smith, Nightmare on My Street? That’s not a pun you idiot.

Nightmare of My Street, was that a paid advertising?

Nightmare on My Street Lyrics Now I have a story that I'd like to tell About this guy you all know he had me scared as hell He comes to me at night after I crawl into bed He's burnt up like a weenie and his name is Fred He wears the same hat and sweater every single day And even if it's hot outside he wears it anyway He's home when I'm awake but he shows up when I sleep I can't believe that there's a nightmare on my street It was a Saturday evening if I remember it right And we had just gotten back off tour last night So the gang and I thought that it would be groovy If we summoned up the posse and done rushed the movie I got Angie Jeff got Tina Ready Rock got some girl I'd never seen in my life That was all right because the lady was chill Then we dipped to the theater set to I'll buggin cold havin a ball Somethin about Elm St.. was the movie we saw The way it started was decent you know nuthin real fancy About this homeboy named Fred and this girl named Nancy But word when it was over I said yo that was def And everything seemed all right when we left But when I got home and laid down to sleep That began the nightmare, but on my street It was burning in my room like an oven My bed soaked with sweat And man I was bugging I checked the clock and it stopped at 12:30 It had melted it was so darn hot And I was thirsty I wanted something cool to quench my thirst I thought to myself yo this heat is the worst But when I got downstairs I noticed something was wrong I was home all alone but the tv was on I thought nothin off it as I grabbed the remote I pushed the power button and then I almost choked When I heard this awful voice coming from behind It said, “You turned off David Letterman...now you must die!!" Man, I ain't even wait to see who it was Broke inside my drawers and screamed, "So long, cuz" Got halfway up the block I calmed down and stopped screaming Then thought, "Oh, I get it, I must be dreaming" I strolled back home with a grin on my grill I think that since this is a dream I might as well get ill I walked in the house, the Big Bad Fresh Prince But Freddy killed all that noise real quick He grabbed me by my neck and said "Here's what we'll do We gotta lotta work here, me and you The souls of your friends you and I will claim You've got the body and I've got the brain" I said, "Yo Fred I think you got me all wrong I ain't partners with nobody with nails that long Look, I'll be honest man, this team won't work The girls won't be on you, Fred, your face is all burnt" Fred got mad and his head started steaming But I thought what the hell I’m only dreamin’ I said please leave Fred so I can get some sleep But give me a call maybe we'll hang out next week I patted him on the shoulder, said "thanks for stopping by" Then I opened up the door and said "take care guy" He got mad, drew back his arm, and slashed my shirt I laughed at first, then thought, "hold up, that hurt" It wasn't a dream, man, this guy was for real I said, "Freddy, uh, pal, there's been an awful mistake here" No further words and then I darted upstairs Crashed through my door then jumped on my bed Pulled the covers up over my head And said, "Oh please do something with Fred" He jumped on my bed, went through the covers with his claws Tried to get me, but my alarm went off And then silence It was a whole new day I thought, "Huh, I wasn't scared of him anyway" Until I noticed those rips in my sheets And that was proof that there had been a nightmare on my street FP: Oh man, I gotta call Jeff, I gotta call Jeff Come on, come on Come on Jeff, answer Come on, man JJ: Hello? FP: Jeff, this is Prince, man Jeff, wake up, Jeff, wake up JJ: What do you want? FP: Jeff, wake up, man, listen to me, Jeff JJ: It's three o'clock in the morning, what do you want? FP: Jeff, Jeff, would you listen to me? Listen, whatever you do, don't fall asleep JJ: Man FP: Jeff, listen to me, don't go to sleep, Jeff JJ: look, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I'm gong to bed Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! (Ha ha ha ha ha haaaa) FP: Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Jeff! Answer me, Jeff! I'm your D.J. now, Princey! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa

What a loser. Can we please come to terms with that fact that whatever Will Smith is now, he is? Scientology is great. Jada Pinkett Smith is incredible feminine and her rock band is in no way comprised of all of Linda Perry’s ex-girlfriends. Can we just be on the same page that the Fresh Prince was a loser? All of his raps start out, “Here’s a story…” That’s not good story telling. You don’t go to The Moth and hear people say, “Here’s a little story about my childhood.” Horrible! Do you know what that was? It was gateway stuff. That was gateway stuff for white kids to make rap worse and it worked. Did it work? Does Macklemore make rap music? Who’s the one on the Thriftshop song from a year ago?

I know it wasn’t this year’s song. I am paying attention. I know Miley Cirus had an allergy to the antibiotics. What was the one about asking your grandpa? Can I have his pants? These smell like R. Kelly got to them first…What is this song? It is dumb. It is also a little on the nose when he says, “walk into the club, like what’s up? I’ve got a big cock.” Really?

There is no A-C on that. There’s no concealing what you are trying to say. Go to rhymezone.com use the old concept thesaurus.

I want to thank Juliette Renault for making a beautiful sticker of Jimmy Jazz. She made a beautiful illustration of him as a Bar Mitzvah boy; you can find that on Instagram. Also in regards to the Lubbock girls I would be remiss in not inducting Jamie Lumer into the Red Head Hall of Fame. I am doing that right now. Jamie Lumer you are in the Red Head Hall of Fame, so is Daphne from Scooby Doo. Velma is not, I am sorry.

I grapple with Millenials. Hi, I am Bryan Singer and I grapple with Millenials. There are not enough Bryan Singer jokes. It is a horrible, horrible thing that he did. Never rape children. I still want more jokes about it. I want more jokes about how he and Kevin Spacey are collaborating. Kevin Spacey has been reading the news and has hired him to direct season 3 of House of Cards. Can we just laugh at things that are horrible Millenials? Is that ok? Oh, it’s the thought police. I don’t care about thought policing. Sometimes Millenials annoy me. Do you know what? I am going to take that back, retract, retract, retract. Millenials sometimes do annoy me, but what I am about to say has nothing to do with being annoyed. The Mean Girls anniversary was a big thing on the internet. Everyone was talking about Mean Girls. Ok, it’s a fine movie. I saw it in the theater. Ok.

When I was at the Film Forum I saw a poster with Haley Mills from the original Parent Trap. Oh, fun! They were also showing Danny Kaye’s The Court Jester and Safety Last. I love these movies. I should go to the Film Forum more, and then I realized it was a poster to promote bringing your children to the Film Forum; we have these movies for your dumb little kids. It’s not just documentaries, some of them are good, some of them not so much. Some of the previews are just death—they are always about a foreign language person dealing with secretly being a Jew. They are all films my mother will see and call me and rave about. No offense to any Israeli people listening but after I hear ‘Israeli filmmaker’ my head just clicks off. It could be this Israeli filmmaker made a film about Bassett hounds and Michael Keaton is naked and I would still say, “You lost me at Israeli filmmaker, sorry.”

Although I did watch a lot of Shalom Sumsum—the Hebrew Sesame Street goddamn it. I miss Doran, my Israeli massage therapist recommended to me by Jessica Chaffin and Jamie Denbo from Ronna and Beverly. What else do I have to say? I’ve talked about this before but don’t say the whole thing about girls with daddy issues and strippers with daddy issues. It is not a real thing. It is something guys made up. I have never met a woman with “daddy issues” I have met women who have issues with their fathers. That’s a given, but men have way way bigger problems with their fathers than women in my broad strokes experience. I think it is kind of sexest to say, “Daddy issues, Strippers right?”

How dare anybody say any woman has daddy issues when Ben Folds is walking around writing and recording songs and Wes Anderson is making movies? How dare you! Speaking of dads having daughters, I think it is really cute and fun that you don’t need to ask if a new dad has a girl or not, all you have to say is, “The cold never bothered me anyway.” The point is all dads know the lyrics to Frozen. I think it’s good, interesting that a movie for little girls has become oppressive to Gen X dads or at least just a gigantic presence. That men I grew up with have to listen to Idina Menzel is really satisfying. Not that I support Disney’s agenda, mostly eugenics based. I fucking hate Donald Duck. I don’t care that he doesn’t wear pants, that’s not why I hate him. I hate his voice, his attitude. I hate his style. More than anything I hate people who do Donald Duck impersonations. Oh, rest in peace Bob Hoskins.

Finally I have been thinking about when people describe hell. I think Satan is cool by the way. I think Satan and the Devil is cool. He seems like a rad, debonair, and dashing dude. He seems cool. Jesus seems like a well-intentioned hippy that don’t know how to fuck you. But Hell-I read Dante in college- popular imagination whenever people describe Hell, by people I mean men; they say in Hell the Devil rapes. The Devil has a barbed penis and he fucks you in the ass. Upon further examination you think because you are a homophobic weirdo we have to deal with what your version of hell is? It’s being fucked in the ass? Yes, the barbed penis thing, cats have been enduring it for years and they seem fine.

Think about it. When you hear the idea of Hell has to do with being anally penetrated, that’s what is considered Hell it taps into the whole Mario Lopez thing. I hope my daughters never grow up because then they are going to date. Because then they’ll meet a guy like me and all I wanted to do at that age… What? What did you want to do at that age? Rape people in the ass? So you are the Devil is what you are saying? I know this is roundabout but if you bear with me and you’ve taken your peyote at the beginning of the episode as instructed by secret blinking you’ll know what I mean. I hate that idea of, “You’re never going to date.” What’s that Dave Barry title? You’ll Date When You’re Forty. Oh ha ha ha, that’s so funny. We live in a culture where you think sexuality is violence. Those are your terms, of course it is. You are sick power hungry weirdos. Guys invented war. I am standing by this. War is the weirdest thing in the world. Do you know any girls that read military fiction and can they fix my DVR because I just want to tape Fargo and Real Housewives at the same time? It shouldn’t be that difficult.

My point is, if you think that getting fucking in the ass… Oh musicals are another thing. People say my version of Hell… really? Getting fucked in the ass and watching the Pajama Game is your idea of Hell. Honestly that’s just a lovely weekend. How dare you! How dare everybody.

When I was in LA, boy I had some stories that would curl your tail like a little piggy piggy. Conversations I had with people I am just now beginning to remember. It is not even that anyone was ill-intentioned it’s just when men come into a situation…when they are not man-splaining, they are assuming things that you are like them…that your worst fear is anal sex and musical theater? No. Who told you that?

I don’t want this to be a man-hating podcast. We love men here at HWYW. We love men. We love it when they get us pregnant, when they don’t get us pregnant. We love reading things they wrote and watching things they made. We love the great job they do in general with world running. Hats off to them.

Guys, it’s May already. This is shaping up to be the best year ever. I am really excited that we have a very famous celebrity on this week. Every week on the show we have someone that is famous, that’s not entirely true. This week we have Seth Rogen. He’s a great guy. Seth Rogen is famous and he’s a great guy.