Enemies of the Show

Pauley Perrette

[1] Pauley Perrette AKA "World's Oldest Goth" Perrette became an official enemy of the show after antagonizing Julie and marring an otherwise delightful dog awards show in the process. Julie was working the event as a red carpet correspondent and asked Perrette whether or not she was intoxicated and if she planned to steal a dog from the event by smuggling it in her dress. Perrette took umbrage at the questions and attempted to eject Julie from the event. Every few weeks, Julie offers new ruminations on this bizarre encounter and mocks Perrette from afar, inspired largely by interviews the actress has given and her tweets. She was once married to one "Coyote Shivers".

Gnats

[2] Gnats AKA "Guh-Nats". Often found in boxes of soup, which are not to be kept in your kitchen.

Patti Stanger

[3] "Patti Stang-air" A garbage person made out of snakes. She's a matchmaker with an irrational aversion to red hair and curly hair. Julie has deemed this yenta "bad for the Jews."

Mario Lopez

Frequent public binger and anti-circumcision zealot.

Jenny McCarthy

Murderer of children.[4]

Anthony Bourdain

[5] Pretentious boomer, faux-edgy television chef, and total asshole. His "No Reservations" theme song is potentially sung by a horse. His wife Ottavia posts scholarly, deep things on the internet. Julie had an exchange with her over Twittair where she called Ottavia "competitively dumb/shallow/famous for no reason". She replied very prolifically, "If you don't like the smell of my shit get your nose out of my asshole."

Neil LaBute

[6] Fat man. Hates women. Occasionally writes internet comments on reviews of his own plays. Some strong feelings in Episode 119.

Sting & Trudi Styler

Doomsdayist, potentially Raelian couple comprised of a man formerly named 'Gordon' and his wife, Trudi, who has taken over the backs of Kashi cereal boxes. It has been concluded that they fuck way, way too much.