Difference between revisions of "Episode 188: "Her Own Carol""

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==Monolgue Transcript==
+
== Date ==
 +
October 10, 2014
 +
 
 +
== Guests ==
 +
[http://advancedstylefilm.com/ Advanced Style]
 +
 
 +
== Origin of the episode title ==
 +
Ann Rule, author of the Ted Bundy biography [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stranger_Beside_Me The Stranger Beside Me] has a friendly conversational tone with herself.
 +
 
 +
== Discussed ==
 +
This week's show features the stars of the new documentary, ADVANCED STYLE, a film about the movement of women over 50 looking fucking fabulous and loving life and having incredible taste in style and fashion. Enjoy this chat about: how to never be boring, where you can wear something you were afraid you wouldn't be able to wear, why hats are important, and how come enough with the t-shirts and jeans.
 +
 
 +
Plus: Julie went to see the Chuck Jones exhibit and The Jerk at the Museum of the Moving Image, and she has things to say about Bernadette Peters's hair and Coyote & Roadrunner's questionable appeal, Aaron Spelling's unique "Fuck You" approach to creativity, how Mickey and Minnie Mouse would, as a human couple, be the worst people to ever have to endure a dinner with, and a dramatic reading of the most misguided and self-centered passages of Ann Rule's book about Ted Bundy.
 +
 
 +
== Trivia and References ==
 +
 
 +
== Download the Episode ==
 +
[http://howwasyourweek.libsyn.com/advanced-style-her-own-carol-ep-188 Episode Link]
 +
 
 +
== Tippers ==
 +
These are people who [https://www.paypal.com/us/webapps/mpp/send-money-online sent money through Paypal] to klausnerama@gmail.com to help keep the show ad-free.
 +
 
 +
== Monologue Transcript ==
 +
''Transcription by Amy''
 +
 
  
 
Hello, hello.  Hi everybody it’s Julie Klausner back for another episode of HWYW.
 
Hello, hello.  Hi everybody it’s Julie Klausner back for another episode of HWYW.
Line 20: Line 44:
 
The other thing I wrote down on the things to talk about list…was either late at night, a dream, or it was in broad daylight and I am too embarrassed to tell you that I thought of it.  What if we do a parody of that song and it goes, “Feel like having sex, feel like having sex with you.”  It’s not any more literal.
 
The other thing I wrote down on the things to talk about list…was either late at night, a dream, or it was in broad daylight and I am too embarrassed to tell you that I thought of it.  What if we do a parody of that song and it goes, “Feel like having sex, feel like having sex with you.”  It’s not any more literal.
  
I went to the Museum of the Moving Image on Sunday and saw the Chuck Jones exhibit because it was the last weekend that I could do so. It was really fantastic.  I love seeing Loony Tunes and Merry Melodies on the big screen except for Wile E Coyote and Road Runner.  I don’t know if it is a girl thing.  I’ve never liked Wile E.  I have never liked the coyote in Road Runner cartoons and I’m not exactly sure why.  It is silly to say they are repetitive because everything is repetitive and that’s the beauty of sketch comedy.  I think the lack of dialogue has a lot to do with it and also that I hate both characters.  I don’t give a shit about this busted looking,  he looks like if Bugs Bunny’s cousin lived in a dumpster and got  hit by a car.  He doesn’t have any of the urbane wit of his relative. Then this cunt-bird running around…the landscapes are beautiful but if that is the best thing you have to say you probably don’t like the cartoon.
+
I went to the Museum of the Moving Image on Sunday and saw the Chuck Jones exhibit because it was the last weekend that I could do so. It was really fantastic.  I love seeing Loony Tunes and Merry Melodies on the big screen except for Wile E Coyote and Road Runner.  I don’t know if this is a girl thing.  Please weigh in.  I’ve never liked Wile E Coyote. Why am I calling him Wile E? I have never liked the coyote in Road Runner cartoons and I’m not exactly sure why.  It is silly to say they are repetitive because everything is repetitive and that’s the beauty of sketch comedy.  I think the lack of dialogue has a lot to do with it and also that I hate both characters.  I don’t give a shit about this busted looking,  he looks like if Bugs Bunny’s cousin lived in a dumpster and got  hit by a car.  He doesn’t have any of the urbane wit of his relative. Then this cunt-bird running around…the landscapes are beautiful but if that is the best thing you have to say you probably don’t like the cartoon.
  
Besides Coyote and Road runner you’ve got you Daffy Duck your Duck Amok where he’s yelling at the cartoonist the whole time and it turn out to be Bugs Bunny because ain’t he a stinker.  Some of the insults he comes up with.  If you don’t have dialogue? Unless you have a song with Michigan J Frog.  There’s nothing to grab me.  One of the things Daffy Duck says to the animator is “Thanks for the sour persimmons cousin what a way to run a railroad.”  The One Froggy Evening carton, and I’m not the first to say this I’m in the company of Steven Spielberg and his band of brothers, it is not only a perfect 7 minute cartoon it is just a perfect thing. I laugh.  It reaches me. It reaches me when I can’t be reached.  Also apparently they wrote Michigan Rag for the cartoon which I didn’t know.  I thought it was a stand like I’m just wild about Harry.  My family used to sing it because we had a player piano and that was one of the scrolls we had.  He is sweet like chocolate cake, candy, and just like honey from the bee.  Songs were different back then because people had no standards. They had no standards so they created standards. You know word play is an important part of this show.
+
Besides Coyote and Road runner you’ve got you Daffy Duck your Duck Amok where he’s yelling at the cartoonist the whole time and it turn out to be Bugs Bunny because ain’t he a stinker.  Some of the insults he comes up with.  If you don’t have dialogue? Unless you have a song with Michigan J Frog.  There’s nothing to grab me.  One of the things Daffy Duck says to the animator is “Thanks for the sour persimmons cousin what a way to run a railroad.”  The One Froggy Evening carton, and I’m not the first to say this I’m in the company of Steven Spielberg and his band of brothers, it is not only a perfect 7 minute cartoon it is just a perfect thing. I laugh.  It reaches me. It reaches me when I can’t be reached.  Also apparently they wrote Michigan Rag for the cartoon which I didn’t know.  I thought it was a stand like I’m just wild about Harry.  My family used to sing it because we had a player piano and that was one of the scrolls we had.  He is sweet like chocolate cake, candy, and just like honey from the bee.  Songs were different back then because people had no standards. They had no standards so they created standards. You know, word play is an important part of this show.
  
I saw the Chuck Jones exhibit, I loved it then they were showing The Jerk after.  I had never seen the Jerk on the big screen so I stuck around.  I stuck around because I don’t’ need a reason to watch the Jerk again.  Here’s why it’s important to see the jerk on the big screen.  If you’re like me looking at Bernadette Peters on that big screen is a combination of idolatry and you also want to kill yourself because you’ll never be as beautiful. If I were gross I’d compare her to a woman flowering and being in full bloom but I am not disgusting.  Basically Bernadette Peters in the restaurant eating escargot her knife throwing outfit and just the dress she wears to chase the train she’s just obscenely beautiful. It was helpful to see the jerk on the big screen because on the big screen I could tell she was wearing a wig, or at least heavy pieces.  I did not see any scalp is what I am saying that made me feel a little better about myself.  Gorgeous thick curls don’t sprout from my… I want a –shirt that says Bullshit on it.  
+
I saw the Chuck Jones exhibit, I loved it then they were showing The Jerk after.  I had never seen the Jerk on the big screen so I stuck around.  I stuck around because I don’t’ need a reason to watch the Jerk again.  Here’s why it’s important to see the jerk on the big screen.  If you’re like me looking at Bernadette Peters on that big screen is a combination of idolatry and you also want to kill yourself because you’ll never be as beautiful. If I were gross I’d compare her to a woman flowering and being in full bloom but I am not disgusting.  Basically Bernadette Peters in the restaurant eating escargot and her knife throwing outfit and just the dress she wears to chase the train she’s just obscenely beautiful. It was helpful to see the jerk on the big screen because on the big screen I could tell she was wearing a wig, or at least heavy pieces.  There was no...I did not see any scalp, is what I am saying...that made me feel a little better about myself.  Gorgeous thick curls don’t sprout from my… I want a –shirt that says Bullshit on it.  
  
I watched a few episodes of Love Boat this weekend just to acquaint myself…I never gave a shit about anything that Aaron Spelling ever did and that makes me different from people my age because I never cared about 90210. I don’ think Saved by the Bell is funny in any way except for the fact that Aaron Spelling is behind it.  Aaron Spelling who is the man we have to thanks for Love Boat was by far the most cynical I’ll say 20th Century entertainer, at least producer of television, creator, and show runner. You could never make television with the kind of attitude Aaron Spelling had at the time which was  fuck it put it on the screen, they’ll eat it up those stupid bastards.  Every frame of the Love Boat basically said Fuck You! That show was on forever. I don’t want to say for ten years but something close to that.  By the end the episode I was had Jack Klugman with a fake nose.  He was debating whether or not to get a nose job.  Oddly enough Charro was not on that episode.  Is something wrong?  Priscilla Barnes was in it.  She was affecting a Swedish accent then it turned out she wasn’t really Swedish.  Telly Savalas was on it and because it was towards the end of the series, I guess, he made a robot version of Isaac.  
+
I watched a few episodes of Love Boat this weekend just to acquaint myself…I never gave a shit about anything that Aaron Spelling ever did and that makes me different from other people my age because I never cared about 90210. And then people younger than me, I never, I don’t think Saved by the Bell is funny in any way, except for the fact that Aaron Spelling is behind it.  Aaron Spelling who is the man we have to thanks for Love Boat was by far the most cynical I’ll say 20th Century entertainer, at least producer of television, creator, and show runner. You could never make television with the kind of attitude Aaron Spelling had at the time which was  fuck it put it on the screen, they’ll eat it up those stupid bastards.  Every frame of the Love Boat basically said Fuck You! That show was on forever. I don’t want to say for ten years but something close to that.  By the end the episode I was had Jack Klugman with a fake nose.  He was debating whether or not to get a nose job.  Oddly enough Charro was not on that episode.  Is something wrong?  Priscilla Barnes was in it.  She was affecting a Swedish accent then it turned out she wasn’t really Swedish.  Telly Savalas was on it and because it was towards the end of the series, I guess, he made a robot version of Isaac.  
 
At this point, and honestly it didn’t start out with a lot of integrity, it’s not like it was Mad Men and became Fuck You America, but  what are you guys even doing?  I don’t know they fall in love they go home everybody is happy Charro does a dance she shakes her stuff around, it was one of those things the producer thought here’s a little something for the dads. Like those women in the Aladdin Tony performance—Can your friends do this? And then there were ladies in skimpy harem outfits behind the lamps.  The dad is supposed to wake up and think oh, I guess this splay isn’t so bad.   
 
At this point, and honestly it didn’t start out with a lot of integrity, it’s not like it was Mad Men and became Fuck You America, but  what are you guys even doing?  I don’t know they fall in love they go home everybody is happy Charro does a dance she shakes her stuff around, it was one of those things the producer thought here’s a little something for the dads. Like those women in the Aladdin Tony performance—Can your friends do this? And then there were ladies in skimpy harem outfits behind the lamps.  The dad is supposed to wake up and think oh, I guess this splay isn’t so bad.   
  

Latest revision as of 05:15, 4 November 2014

Date[edit]

October 10, 2014

Guests[edit]

Advanced Style

Origin of the episode title[edit]

Ann Rule, author of the Ted Bundy biography The Stranger Beside Me has a friendly conversational tone with herself.

Discussed[edit]

This week's show features the stars of the new documentary, ADVANCED STYLE, a film about the movement of women over 50 looking fucking fabulous and loving life and having incredible taste in style and fashion. Enjoy this chat about: how to never be boring, where you can wear something you were afraid you wouldn't be able to wear, why hats are important, and how come enough with the t-shirts and jeans.

Plus: Julie went to see the Chuck Jones exhibit and The Jerk at the Museum of the Moving Image, and she has things to say about Bernadette Peters's hair and Coyote & Roadrunner's questionable appeal, Aaron Spelling's unique "Fuck You" approach to creativity, how Mickey and Minnie Mouse would, as a human couple, be the worst people to ever have to endure a dinner with, and a dramatic reading of the most misguided and self-centered passages of Ann Rule's book about Ted Bundy.

Trivia and References[edit]

Download the Episode[edit]

Episode Link

Tippers[edit]

These are people who sent money through Paypal to klausnerama@gmail.com to help keep the show ad-free.

Monologue Transcript[edit]

Transcription by Amy


Hello, hello. Hi everybody it’s Julie Klausner back for another episode of HWYW.

Oh boy, earlier today we learned that Jan Hooks died. That was so sad. I assume you are familiar with her work and are a fan of her work. She was so funny. I thought immediately of my friend Nate. A lot of my good friends posted some great stuff on Social Media about it. It is interesting to me that Jan Hooks holds the place that she does in so many people’s hearts. In a lot of ways she was people’s first exposure to what was funny. I believe in my heart, this is related; I talk a lot on this show about why gay men like funny women, there are theories aplenty. I believe for whatever reason the first flicker of light, the first illumination when you turn on the Christmas tree for the first time inside of every, we’ll generalize to make it a parable, inside of every gay man’s soul is turned on the first time he’s exposed to a woman he finds really funny. In other words I believe that in every gay man’s souls there’s a lightning, a dazzle that is brought into his awareness when he laughs really hard at what a woman does, or is, or says.

It’s just a theory. I think to see a woman do something really funny, there’s always an element of irreverence to it. You’re not supposed to do it. If you are going to be seen it’s just to be fucked or desired in that particular way. There’s that irreverence and also isn’t gender ridiculous? It’s as ridiculous as fucking, honestly. We’ve discussed this fucking is stupid, it’s silly. No one ever said fun had to be sophisticated. That could be a tag line for a terrible product if you are in publicity. Sex is stupid. Gender is stupid. Everything is so silly. I’m sad Jan Hook is dead.

We have a couple of follow up correspondences after last week’s podcast. First of all I wanted to clear up the quote from The Staircase by playing a clip from episode #4. I found this on YouTube. This is the actual…just to catch you up from last week, there’s a show called the Staircase. If you don’t want to know anything about it fast forward. It’s about this guy who may or may not have killed his wife but definitely smokes a pipe. He is bisexual and while married to his wife had some correspondences with a male escort who was in the Marines at one point as was the guy Michael. They had some emails back and forth. They never met up. In the course of that correspondence we learn that the young man, former Marine, current escort loved to fuck, had never been fucked, and the end of the quote is he’s not sure if he’s willing to try it. So there is other stuff they talk about but I thought it would be better just to play it. So you know this was presented in the context that they were showing his court case unfurl. While they were playing, people are reading the emails back and forth and they are showing footage of the jurors, you are meant to believe the jurors are reading these emails which are somehow more satisfying. Please enjoy this.

( Plays Chapter 6 of the Staircase on YouTube around 17:20 http://youtu.be/AJG9YNUjED )

Hold on let’s go over that again—You sound very cool in your email. It’s very rare that I find a client who wants my ass. Whoever was reading this was homophobic or at least sarcastic. I’m very Bi-.

I hope you enjoyed that.

This week I learned about a few different things. One of the things I learned is about this 3-Way app, it’s like tinder but for people looking for 3-ways. Here’s why I am against it, morality. No I read about this in New York Magazine. A guy came up with the idea for couples looking for a third sex partner there’s the third guest star position. I’ve seen Sex in the City. That would be, hypothetically a single person going on this app and swiping to and fro looking at couples they’d consider having relations with. Here’s why reading about this made me sadder than I have been in at least two weeks. It’s lonely enough to be on an internet dating site or fucking app when you are single and you are just looking at photos of other single lonely people, I’m speaking from personal experience clearly. The only thing more depressing than looking on Tinder at photos of other single lonely people is looking at couples. These couples are either on death’s doorstep or they were going into this with a mutual understanding of how things would be. They march to the beat of their own drummers. The idea of browsing couples just seemed like a bummer to me personally which is why I’m not going to be using this app but I will be accepting ads for it. If you want to record an ad for this app please don’t because I will be doing them for myself. I will open the show from now on by saying-This episode of How Was Your Week has been brought to you by the threesome app—I don’t know what it is called—3ies. Logon today and meet a couple or if you’re in a couple go cruising for some girl with self-esteem more durable than anything I could ever fathom or someone similarly broken.

This isn‘t the generalizations about polygamy podcast because Penn Jillette already has one of those. It’s disgusting and shocking. I find his ideas about there being no god very shocking. They run contrary to what most people think. The other thing I wrote down on the things to talk about list…was either late at night, a dream, or it was in broad daylight and I am too embarrassed to tell you that I thought of it. What if we do a parody of that song and it goes, “Feel like having sex, feel like having sex with you.” It’s not any more literal.

I went to the Museum of the Moving Image on Sunday and saw the Chuck Jones exhibit because it was the last weekend that I could do so. It was really fantastic. I love seeing Loony Tunes and Merry Melodies on the big screen except for Wile E Coyote and Road Runner. I don’t know if this is a girl thing. Please weigh in. I’ve never liked Wile E Coyote. Why am I calling him Wile E? I have never liked the coyote in Road Runner cartoons and I’m not exactly sure why. It is silly to say they are repetitive because everything is repetitive and that’s the beauty of sketch comedy. I think the lack of dialogue has a lot to do with it and also that I hate both characters. I don’t give a shit about this busted looking, he looks like if Bugs Bunny’s cousin lived in a dumpster and got hit by a car. He doesn’t have any of the urbane wit of his relative. Then this cunt-bird running around…the landscapes are beautiful but if that is the best thing you have to say you probably don’t like the cartoon.

Besides Coyote and Road runner you’ve got you Daffy Duck your Duck Amok where he’s yelling at the cartoonist the whole time and it turn out to be Bugs Bunny because ain’t he a stinker. Some of the insults he comes up with. If you don’t have dialogue? Unless you have a song with Michigan J Frog. There’s nothing to grab me. One of the things Daffy Duck says to the animator is “Thanks for the sour persimmons cousin what a way to run a railroad.” The One Froggy Evening carton, and I’m not the first to say this I’m in the company of Steven Spielberg and his band of brothers, it is not only a perfect 7 minute cartoon it is just a perfect thing. I laugh. It reaches me. It reaches me when I can’t be reached. Also apparently they wrote Michigan Rag for the cartoon which I didn’t know. I thought it was a stand like I’m just wild about Harry. My family used to sing it because we had a player piano and that was one of the scrolls we had. He is sweet like chocolate cake, candy, and just like honey from the bee. Songs were different back then because people had no standards. They had no standards so they created standards. You know, word play is an important part of this show.

I saw the Chuck Jones exhibit, I loved it then they were showing The Jerk after. I had never seen the Jerk on the big screen so I stuck around. I stuck around because I don’t’ need a reason to watch the Jerk again. Here’s why it’s important to see the jerk on the big screen. If you’re like me looking at Bernadette Peters on that big screen is a combination of idolatry and you also want to kill yourself because you’ll never be as beautiful. If I were gross I’d compare her to a woman flowering and being in full bloom but I am not disgusting. Basically Bernadette Peters in the restaurant eating escargot and her knife throwing outfit and just the dress she wears to chase the train she’s just obscenely beautiful. It was helpful to see the jerk on the big screen because on the big screen I could tell she was wearing a wig, or at least heavy pieces. There was no...I did not see any scalp, is what I am saying...that made me feel a little better about myself. Gorgeous thick curls don’t sprout from my… I want a –shirt that says Bullshit on it.

I watched a few episodes of Love Boat this weekend just to acquaint myself…I never gave a shit about anything that Aaron Spelling ever did and that makes me different from other people my age because I never cared about 90210. And then people younger than me, I never, I don’t think Saved by the Bell is funny in any way, except for the fact that Aaron Spelling is behind it. Aaron Spelling who is the man we have to thanks for Love Boat was by far the most cynical I’ll say 20th Century entertainer, at least producer of television, creator, and show runner. You could never make television with the kind of attitude Aaron Spelling had at the time which was fuck it put it on the screen, they’ll eat it up those stupid bastards. Every frame of the Love Boat basically said Fuck You! That show was on forever. I don’t want to say for ten years but something close to that. By the end the episode I was had Jack Klugman with a fake nose. He was debating whether or not to get a nose job. Oddly enough Charro was not on that episode. Is something wrong? Priscilla Barnes was in it. She was affecting a Swedish accent then it turned out she wasn’t really Swedish. Telly Savalas was on it and because it was towards the end of the series, I guess, he made a robot version of Isaac. At this point, and honestly it didn’t start out with a lot of integrity, it’s not like it was Mad Men and became Fuck You America, but what are you guys even doing? I don’t know they fall in love they go home everybody is happy Charro does a dance she shakes her stuff around, it was one of those things the producer thought here’s a little something for the dads. Like those women in the Aladdin Tony performance—Can your friends do this? And then there were ladies in skimpy harem outfits behind the lamps. The dad is supposed to wake up and think oh, I guess this splay isn’t so bad.

Think of that instinct only subjected to nuclear waste, no integrity, no taste and the guys not even gay or English. Fuck them; let them choke on their own vomit. They’ll live. They’ll be fine. Aaron Spelling produced garbage every second he was on the planet. I’m glad he’s dead, that’s not true, I’m not glad he’s dead, I’m just glad Candy Spelling is not. Who did Dynasty? If Aaron Spelling did Dynasty I’m going to have to eat my words—The Mod Squad, Charlie’s Angels—ugh give me a break, no disrespect to Farah Fawcett. Seventh Heaven-hello! Hot Potato. Who did Dynasty? That show was great! It was created by Richard and Esther Shapiro and produced by Aaron Spelling, ok, got it. All right look, Aaron Spelling gave us Dynasty, fine. Aaron Spelling I’m not glad you’re dead but Seventh Heaven, never watched that show. I guess Steven Collins has got urges. As far as Farah Fawcett, or as I know her, Farah Fawcett Majors, she was in Logan’s Run. I saw it for the first time Friday. I fell asleep around the ending. It was one of the better movies set in a mall I’d say. There was one part where Peter Ustinov just read the poems T.S. Elliott wrote that ending u becoming Cats the Musical. So Peter Ustinov plays an old man in a cave. He’s shocking to them because everyone in this futuristic stupid universe has to die when they are 30, fine. Then he just talks in poems. What are you doing here? Macavity is a Mystical Cat, Gus the theater cat… What the Fuck is going on? I enjoyed that but the rest of it was garbage and silly. There were parts of it I liked. Most of it I didn’t. Farah Fawcett was in it. Here’s my theory about Michael York, a little bit of Michael York goes a long way. A lot of Michael York, no thank you. Embroider that on a pillow and sell it on Etsy. How do you like them sour persimmons cousin.

The other thing I have been thinking about in regards to the Chuck Jones stuff is Mickey Mouse and how much he sucks. I have talked about it Mickey Mouse in the past and I have wondered out loud how they came up with his voice because it’s so stupid. It’s like an idiot with a gun to his head being forced to do a cartoon voice, “I’m a cartoon.” Ryan Hotlips Houlihan who is one of our Disney experts here at How Was Your Week Headquarters told us that was Walt Disney himself which is absolutely horrible. A man who actually felt that he was superior to Jews going ‘Oh Boy’ It speaks for itself. The other thing I hate about Mickey Mouse is that line on the Simpson’s “You’re supposed to be funny?" about Mickey.

He has no game. He’s just excited to be there. Nobody likes characters who are excited to be out of the house around people they’re not discriminating “Oh boy, what a good time, I sure am glad you invited me.” That’s the difference between funny and … in other words Bug Bunny s funny. He’s sarcastic. As Tom Scharpling will point out he’s just trying to mind his own business. He travels a lot. Bugs Bunny really enjoys his life. He’d be a tough person to date. This guy is not looking to change his life. He loves his life, he’s very happy alone. He travels. He has fun. Honestly with Bug Bunny there’s no room for a partner. With Mickey Mouse of course he’s thrilled to have another person as boring as him in his life. They’ll spend the days laughing at everything they say to each other. Huh, horrible. If you ever had to have dinner with the human equivalents of Minnie Mouse and Mickey Mouse are you telling me you wouldn’t go to the bathroom and not shoot yourself but play five rounds of Candy Crush in the bathroom and then come back and say, “Oh I have to take this.” Then go walk around the block. It would be horrible, “What do you do? Oh that sounds fun” Actually it’s stressful and I’m trying to transition. You’d be extra serious because they laugh way too easily and you don’t want make them laugh. “Aw well.” They’ come up with a bright side.

That’s my worst nightmare, someone who resembles Mickey or Minnie. The differences between Bugs Bunny and Mickey are a lot. I don’t know why I am comparing them I guess because they are the iconic figureheads of Warner Brothers versus Disney but Mickey is the loser friend who laughs at everything. Bugs Bunny is the friend you’re so excited about—Bill Murray, David Letterman, the coolest fucking person in the room and the world, Lou Reed also. Jake and I were texting which punk legend would be which Loony Tune and we settled on Lou Reed would be Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny is very sexy. Not only in drag but also dressed up as a Matador. I want to make sure you knew.

Michael Stipe is teaching a NYU course, the headline is REM’s Michael Stipe teaching NYU art class about the internet’s reckless cynicism. Ok. I’m trying to skim it to give you a taste and it’s just not really skimmable.

The theme is one most internet dwellers can relate to: “the glut and onslaught of information made available by the internet, often without context or authorship; the disproportionate and impulsive reactions that it provokes, and the reckless cynicism of a 24-hour news cycle.” Specifically, this week’s title is “Invisible Information-ation-ation.”

Oh boy. Come on Michael Stipe sing a song.

Here’s to hoping the gifs flow freely. Visitors will get to see what comes out of the Stipe-led sessions.

I can’t wait to see what Michael Stipe’s students create gif-wise. That was horrible. I regret learning about that.

The Halloween costume contest for your dogs is a total fucking flop. None of you have sent me a photo of your dog dressed up in a costume. So I am going to open it to people. I have to. You’ve given me no choice. Last week I said send me photos of your dog dressed up in a podcast-related costume. Which means you could dress up your dog as a g-nat, as Pauly Perrette-enemy of the show, world’s oldest Goth, the hated monster Pauly Perrette who tried to get me kicked out of a dog awards show. You could dress up as anything you could dress your dog up with anything from the show that would be clever and fun and make me happy for a minute in a day. None of you did. I hope you can think about that in a way that makes you feel bad and then when you do decide to get your shit together and take a photo of your dog dressed in a costume that makes me happy. Should it just be dress your dog like me? It could be a dog look-alike contest. Which dog looks the most like me? I’m willing to go there. But I don’t want to, not yet. Maybe next week if none of you send photos. My plea is please send some god dam photos of your dogs dressed up for Halloween in things that have to do with the podcast. It will make me very happy. The winner will get a T-shirt. At this point anybody who puts in an effort and it looks nice enough I will probably send you a T-shirt. At this point I’ll be thrilled. That’s not to say do a shitty costume. I don’t want you to go to Halloween adventure and get a premade costume where the dog has a hat on and there’s a little body hanging down. If David Berkowitz were still around he’d probably be very confused by those costumes. It would probably dilute his message.

It’s fun to think about Daffy Duck in Duck Amok the animators are fucking with Daffy and he’s says, “Give me a place to be. Why am I wearing a hula outfit?” It’s fun to pretend that instead of Daffy Duck that animal is a Black Labrador and the animator is David Berkowitz and the dog is talking to him, “Kill people.”

Speaking of serial killers I finally finished the Ted Bundy book this week. I can’t recommend it enough, not because it’s a great book. It’s actually pretty poorly written. It’s completely fascinating and you would never change the point of view of the author because she was friends with Ted Bundy pretty much through to the end. Once she’s in Florida for the trial she sees photos of the murder victims and throws up and says he probably did it. Yeah, he did it the whole time you fucking stupid bitch. Ann Rule I don’t mean to call you a stupid bitch. If you wanted to come on the show I would be thrilled. I will probably edit this part of the monologue to make it sound like I never called you that but Ann Rule, a true crime writer, wrote about (600 pages) her long complicated relationship with Ted Bundy. The parts of this book that are so , I was going to tiptoe around it and say fascinating or whatever but the truth is just funny., There are parts of this book that are so funny because Ann Rule is oblivious to the fact that her friend is obviously a textbook psychopath killer of women that her self-centered obliviousness is its own. She’s basically a Cathy Cartoon, “I feel chubby today. I sent Ted some nuts in the mail but I can’t keep Haagen Das in the fridge.” Things like that.

What I have done out of the kindness of my heart I have dog-eared my copy of The Stranger Beside Me and I wanted to read you a few passages that illustrate Ann Rule’s narrative style.

She corresponds with Ted even when he’s on death row; I think she makes phone calls. The letters lasted throughout the entire—by the way Ted Bundy killed at least 36 women violently. He’s a horrible horrible person who happened to have been very attractive. He used his looks, and whiteness to the detriment of others. He’s in jail and very despondent about it because he didn’t feel like it was fair. He would write letters that were despondent. He would write Ann about how much he hated the cop that was in charge of his case.

'The letter Ted sent me on September 5th was typed on the cover of a pad of typewriter paper and its contents seemed steeped in the bleakest loss of hope. It could not be interpreted as anything other than a suicide note and it frightened me. Oh no. I hope Ted Bundy doesn’t kill himself in jail!'

Ted explained that the letter was like a call to the crisis clinic (where they met) but that there would be no reply but he wrote I am not asking for help I am saying goodbye. As my eyes raced down the page I felt the hairs down the back of my neck stand up. It might already be too late. He’d written this three days before. I remember that Ted and I had both been taught at the crisis clinic that any contact made by someone in emotional distress must be regarded as a cry for help.

Basically Ann Rule goes on for about three pages; oh my god Ted Bundy’s going to kill himself. Yeah, I hope it hurts. She contacted the warden and asks that he check on Ted Bundy.

I wrote a Special Delivery letter, a letter full of hang in there’s and sent it holding my breath for days expecting to hear a news bulletin. It never came; instead on September 26, Ted wrote me a letter that was a partial explanation. He referred obliquely to hanging himself but assured that he was “hanging in there with nothing but my soul” I will add to your relief. Apparently it was not my letter that turned him around but a session of handball which he found to be an effective method of catharsis.

Then she quotes Ted Bundy talking about how great handball is and how often time we neglect the body for the sake of the mind when essentially the two of them are connected. This is the worst. It is American Psycho but oddly enough not as artful. I never thought I’d say that about Bret Easton Ellis. The other thing about Ted Bundy is that he always had bitches, essentially. He was dick-deep in bitches. Even when he was on trial he fathered a daughter during a conjugal visit. If you bribe the guard they would look over there while Ted Bundy made sure that his bloodline was alive, hardly Orange is the New Black. So around this time Ted Bundy is in jail and he’s got ho’s in two different area codes. He’s got one in the Pacific Northwest and then he’s got another in Utah. He’s using Ann Rule to messenger pigeon notes to his ladies and not mix them up. At one point

He said he sent me a note via Meg which was a slip because it had not been Meg it was Sharon. He was making fun of her for writing him on personalized stationary. He wasn’t making fun of her. She writes Ted was attempting to push my guilt buttons. I was free and living in splendor and he was in “The Hole” I refused to take the bait and wrote back. You said you’d given the message for me to Meg but it was Sharon who sent me one. You probably just misspoke yourself, don’t go getting the two of them confused or you’ll be in hot water.

This is a thing that Ann Rule wrote to Ted Bundy about how he has to mind his P and Qs about the two women he’s manipulating. She’s the third woman. Sometimes she realizes that but most of the time she doesn’t. Ann Rule continues to address his snarky comment about the personalized stationary.

While you’re envying my security remember you have two members of the opposite sex in love with you and I haven’t got any. Fortunately I have been so busy lately with work, housing and the kids’ problems there hasn’t been much time to ponder this glaring lack. I am still sleeping with my typewriter and it’s still cold lumpy and unresponsive.

Oddly enough Ted doesn’t care about her loneliness because Ted’s a little self-centered. She expresses as such. She tell him she’s been getting more assignments from what she calls ‘the glossies’ she’s been getting more magazine writing assignments. She mentioned something about expecting payments form them. He wrote back, this is from Ted Bundy

I am anxious that Cosmopolitan return payment so that you’ll be able to rent a helicopter and get me out of here. The prison maintains falsely that I had airline schedules. Can you imagine? If I were foolish enough t go to an airport I certainly wouldn’t give a damn which flight I jumped on as long as I was assured the plane would take off and land. Doing well, battling like hell, you know what it takes for the tough to get going, love Ted.

She’s so hurt that he didn’t ask her more about her kids. He wrote her a Christmas poem. Fine. She’s also sending him care packages with dried figs and nut, and powdered protein supplements. He says the guy at UPS gave me the stink eye when he saw the address. So around the time Meg one of Ted’s girlfriends dumps him and said she doesn’t want to keep seeing him because she has another man in her life. This is what Ann Rule said about that.

It seemed from that letter that Meg had gone out of Ted’s life yet I wondered at her telling him she was involved with someone else. I had talked to her on the phone only a few days before and she had said there was no one, that for her own survival she had to pull away from Ted. Perhaps she had made up a fictitious man knowing that was the only way Ted would release her. It must have been that. Meg and I had commiserated with each other over the seeming possibility of finding a single man who met our qualifications and who also would even consider accepting a woman with a child or in my case with four children. No, I didn’t think Meg had found anyone. Not yet. I felt sorry for Ted picturing him all alone at last and yet he had been largely responsible for his own plight.

LARGELY! Then she gets one of her books optioned by Hollywood. This is the passage where nobody reading a true crime book would care less about anything besides this passage.

A few days before Christmas I turned in my treatment and the producers liked it. I signed a contract to write the whole movie. They told me it would take six weeks. Could I leave my children that long?

Who gives a shit? Tell us about the murder!

I would have to; it was too big of an opportunity to turn my back on.

It’s like she’s her own friend and she’s talking to herself. I have to; it’s too big of an opportunity to turn my back on. You’re right Carol. She’s her own Carol.

I had no way of knowing I would be away from home for seven months. That Christmas was frantic, two days to shop, one day to celebrate and a week to find babysitters and pack up to return to California. Ted’s Christmas was bleak.

Jesus Christ! There are only a couple more passages and then we’ll do the interview. Here’s a passage about the FBI. Ted Bundy, by the way escaped twice. At the time we had crackerjack security. So the FBI contacted Ann Rule and said you know your pal, if he comes around give us a jingle. This is what Ann Rule says about that

All of it was unreal, only a few years before I had been, if there is such a creature a typical housewife, a Brownie Leader, now I was off to Hollywood with the FBI waiting for me. I felt as if I belonged in an episode of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman.

We’ve all been there. Here is the second to last passage. Ted Bundy was tried in Miami. During his second time while he escaped from prison he moved to Florida under an assumed name and he lived near a college. He went into a sorority house and killed a bunch of young women that he had been stalking. Then he abducted and killed a 12 year old girl. The things he did during his escape from prison are what people are afraid people who escape will do. They could harm again. That is exactly what he did. He is a monster and I hope that he suffered. She flies out of Seattle headed for Miami. She talks about the weather a lot. What this book need more than good perspective, honestly is an editor, an editor with a hatchet. She’s on a flight to Miami, on her own dime. She mentions that a few times. She paid for herself.

Once again I felt the sense of unreality of it all. More so I found the in-flight movie was Love at First Bite. The rest of the passenger flying thousands of feet above the country laughed aloud at the high camp of George Hamilton’s Dracula as he plunged his teeth into beautiful maidens. Under the circumstances I found no humor in it.

If that paragraph alone doesn’t win her a Pulitzer and a man then there is no justice. This is the final thing I am going to read to you which is from 1986. He was convicted in 1985. She talks a lot about all of the letters she gets. I am sure she gets a lot of letters but the way she talks about them is like she’s Mick Jagger. She’s not Mick Jagger.

The court answer was announced during a break and a two-part mini-series about Ted. Mark Harmon, People’s sexiest man alive played Ted as Ted was portrayed in Richard Larson’s book The Deliberate Stranger. Physically Harmon was a good choice but he played Ted Bundy as confident from the beginning as a young Kennedy clone. To Harmon’s credit he could not have known that Harmon began his 20s as the man I knew, the socially inept man, the man who felt he didn’t fit into a world of wealth and success.

That lesson, Mark Harmon should have called Ann Rule.

It was the latter day infamous Ted who was smooth and charismatic. Infamy became Ted. Only as his crimes became Black headlines did he become the Ted Bundy portrayed by Mark Harmon. That was the Ted that a whole new generation of teenage girls fell in love with. I was appalled at the letters and phone calls I got from young girls who wanted to rush to Florida to ’save’ Ted Bundy.

That didn’t even know him and you know him and would have done that Ann Rule you crazy coot.

Finally, I said or wrote firmly, “You are not in love with Ted Bundy, you are in love with Mark Harmon.” I was gratified when several girls responded, “You know, you’re right I got carried away when seeing Mark Harmon.”

Great story everybody, Ann Rule. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. The book is called The Stranger Beside Me. It is great. I can’t recommend it enough. Thank you for your patience. Even if you didn’t enjoy me reading to you thank you for letting me do it. I have a feeling the AV Club’s Podmass is going to consider that a Podmiss. Klausner’s monologue started off gaily when she talked about gay stuff and Jan Hook, and gay gay gayness. Then she read from the Stanger Beside Me for 25 minutes. We don’t like this episode. We call it a Podmiss. You can print that. Honestly don’t even think twice about it.

We have a great show…